Quick update;

I got all my stuff in the mail yesterday (:

Its about to be 8am
i just woke up and i know i gotta run out there door now
since my moms home now she doesnt really support me driving on my own

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

what else..?
man i need fucking school to start haha.
Boys are stressful
specially ,him.

but its not him ,its me
its the fact that i cant be nice to him even though i want to be
im terrified to let my guard down
but i should
its been years, right?
I need to get it over with, his just a person
anamazinglyhotfunnyourgoingperson

but a person nonetheless.

boys are just boys!!

oh

and, FUCK YOU asshole.
im getting really tired of your stupid games.
(Games?)
Ok , so maybe ive just been ignoring the obvious facts
that your an asshole
but its becoming clear now
the more i think about it, the less i can pull out of my memories as to why you were so great
i think its time for me to stop being a little brat and just let it go

On a whole diff note
Ive been thinking about this alot but

i love getting hurt, in a way.
I love when people walk out of my life, or well, i trow them out when they ment something to me.
why?
Because i have this..sick need to become better
to become better than i was
than shove it in their faces
to say "look, i DONT need you , infact, im fucking fabulous right now"
Yet
it seems like..ALL of the people that i once was so close to
that are far away now
they just..
do the opposite
its almost like, i can see them becoming shit as the days go on
like their on a hill going down
while i just keep going up.

why?
i cant say that its my judgement
i have plenty of reasons to support my theory
or maybe im just being a bitch?


ok,im wasting enough time


maybe update later?