Girl talk;

When my first love broke my heart
Regardless me being depressed for half a year and being anti people for a long time

I came out of it eventually
and i came out of it with a set state of mind
Party , have fun, dont give a shit.
Hurt them before they can hurt you.
Which turned to me cheating on boyfriend numero 2 several times for really
NO reason at all.
I just did it to make a point.
That i didnt care.
He was just some guy.
i was in control
(didnt workout that great)

But the other , hopeful side of me
knew to look for a guy with a heart.
I would always ask guys
"Have you ever been in love before?"
Because if they had been hurt, i could be there to replace the hole in their heart
to make them feel better, for them to love me.

I wish i could go back and kick myself in the head.


If a guy has been in what THEY consider true love
if they have wanted a girl more than anything , and more over, if they have been HURT by the girl


that is the biggest

RED FLAG

for me.

STAY AWAY.
DO NOT APPROACH.
WARNING AHEAD.
signs


a broken heart, is a damaged one.
I know this is how it works for guys , but also for girls
but maybe , some girls. because it is how it is for me.


Once a guy is hurt by the girl they want
by the girl they adore and love
no matter who comes along as great as they can be
their not the girl who they wanted
and any girl that come after his love
are all whats considered
Rebound.
Their trying to heal their hearts and get over it
but in reality
that girl , again ,as great as she can be
she will never be better than the one he loves, what he truely wants
you're just something his settling with.

But ill speak for myself
this is how ive figured guys out, i dont obviously know first hand from a guys point.

But i do know mines

Im hurt, ive bitched enough about it.
I cant get over the fact that he doesnt want me
that makes me want him the more
makes me crave his attention more than anything


In a way
i have him up in a pedestal.
Because every other guy that comes along..
No matter how much better they might be, nicer, sweeter
i get annoyed and frustrated with them
because yeah his hot, and yeah his sweet
but their not him
their just some guys
i cant explain what it is
But i want what i WANT.
and every other guy , if i find the slightest flaw i turn the other way.
because in my mind
i know what i want..so if i have to settle for less
he has to be perfect

Which doesnt make any sense
his not perfect
infact;
his a complete piece of shit.
Doesnt deserve me.
Wont ever do better than me.
And i hope he gets hit by a bus.

I feel like.. once i have him where i want.
Ill get bored and walk away.
(another one of my..just wonderful characteristics.)

I kinda envy people that break up and just..move on.
just go and be happy with someone else
go through boyfriends like nothing else in a year.
I cant do that

I HAD to be different.
I am very picky
not in the way that iwant the most gorgeous guy with the most amazing humor and is the sweetest.
But i know what i want
even if its flaws
for example; I like a guy that gets jealous, and i can see it.
but they wont say it. But they wont act like they dont give a shit either

But if a guy gets too jealous and gets mad about it gives me attitude

thats the only thing i need to walk away.

If they do get jealous
and hide it.
And act like nothings wrong and just keep everything going

bye.


If they dont get jealous at all.

again, bye.



I could be smiling and giggling all happy
but if i find the slightist flaw
everything dissapears
and its gone, and i am too.

I dont like this
I wish , sometimes that i could be like those girls who always have boyfriends
who manage to be happy with what they have.
I cant help it , though.




The whole point of this blog is though.





Broken hearts, are damaged forever.


every guy who i see is an ass, who just wants to fuck, who doesnt care if your mad
if you threaten to leave.

well , they could just be an ass.
But most of the time, they know what something big is
and your not that.
and your just not worth the trouble.
When they know there is something better outthere.


Stay away from damaged hearts;



Love, Rose.